The friend that got away...

Am I the only one that has dealt with this? Am I strange to be dwelling on it 3 years later?

It's not the boyfriend that got away....I'm completely cool with all of them because it's GOOD they got away (or I did, rather!). But this friend...

We met about 4 years ago. She was funny, outgoing, inclusive and VERY welcoming. She worked with David at the church and she was really my first solid christian friend in Toledo. She was a good influence and we had a blast. We met and started hanging out and just had that connection like we were friends since we were little. I loved her like a sister...seriously. She quickly became my best friend and I was loving that I had someone that I connected to so fully. She was an amazing christian and an amazing wife and she was a great example of a good christian wife. Up to the end we were hanging out several times a week and were kinda inseperable...then the "incident" happened. I'm not going into it because theres no reason to...but she apologized and it was decided that we have some time apart. We did and then a few months later she called and we decided that we would work on rebuilding the friendship again. I fully forgave her and was happy to have her back in my life. Then a couple weeks later she emailed me to tell me that she couldn't do it...she couldn't be a part of my life and we couldn't talk anymore. She was worried about how people would "percieve" our friendship. I was incredibly hurt but I couldn't beg her to be my friend...how lame would that be.

Still to this day it causes me a lot of hurt. Recently we "brushed" shoulders (figuratively) again and for some reason it just brought all that back to me and smacked me in the face. I don't know if I ever ment as much to her as she did to me. I don't know if she still thinks about me and wonders what's going on in my life. I don't know...I just don't think I ever really got closure. And I don't know if I'm crazy for feeling like this.

I guess as a woman it's different because we're very emotional about things. Back when it all happened David was sad for me but told me to "move on" but I just can't. It's kind of like that family member that has stepped out of your life a couple times and just keeps coming back. I'll always hold out hope that we'll gain back our friendship and start fresh.

I also feel so out of control with the whole situation. In the grand scheme of things I was the one that was "wronged" in the whole situation and I had nothing to do with what happened and I feel like I've been the one thats been punished.

I've made a lot of different friends since then. Most have "stuck" and I now have friends all over the U.S. Some I have lost touch with, some I've had "fallings out" with. None of those bother me today...but I still miss my "sister".

(Do I sound like a nut-job now? LOL)

Not me/my child monday...

This is a little shin-dig MckMama over at my charming kids started. Embarrassed that you ate all the chocolate in the house...in just a couple hours? Furious that your child found the markers and did an art project on your brand new rug, but don't want to admit it? Your in luck! Just play along with all of us and tell us what you or your children did NOT do this week!

Noah turned 2 this week! With daddy being gone all week busy with fall rush at the college, let me tell you, it was not all I had hoped his birthday to be.

Noah did NOT get 3 time outs on his birthday and did NOT set a record for time outs in a day. He also didn't get two of those time outs by hitting me in the face with a toy. My child is an angel!
We did NOT stop opening presents early because he was a whiney ball of mess. I did not take him straight to bed! I'm a better mom than that!

I did not then get FURIOUS with David, after I had put BOTH kids to bed by myself, when I came downstairs and found him watching TV. After asking him to help me clean up the kitchen, dinner, toys etc. and him replying, "I put the wrapping paper in the garbage" I did not almost literally blow STEAM out my ears and then proceed to have an argument with him in my head. I'm much of a more understanding and giving wife than that.

(This ones from a couple weeks ago, but TOO good to pass up!)
Noah did NOT pee on my living room floor...several times. Curious? Let me explain! Noah watches a VeggieTale every morning and every night. Sometimes its the only time I can get away to get some stuff done! So, he was watching his nightly VT and David sat down next to him on the floor. He then pointed out a couple of wet spots on the carpet (Let me remind you that in our 3 bedroom house we only have 2 carpeted rooms!). I remarked that they were probably from his sippy cup but then said that he didn't have his water out there and it was probably from his milk so we should wipe it up. Several minutes later after the VT was over, David picked him up to take him upstairs to change him into his pajamas. When he picked him up he said "The bottom of his shirt and his shorts are SOAKED!" I knew it hadn't been that long since I changed him so I knew it wasn't his diaper. I told him it must have been his sippy (again) and he took him upstairs. He started laughing hysterically and called me up there. I walked upstairs and into Noahs room and all I see is him laying on his changing table, with his diaper on, but pulled down under his...package? LOL. I started confusedly (that's a word right?) laughing. David said it was like that when he took off his shirt. The kid had PUSHED his diaper down to...FREE himself and then continued to watch his show and URINATE ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM CARPET! Just goes to show he is NOT ready to potty train...he could lay in his own filth all day and not care! KIDS!! (I would have photographic evidence of this but David wouldn't let me take a picture...I need to get some blackmail photos for when he's a teenager!)

I LOVE both of my children and wouldn't give either of them up for ANYTHING. Therefore, I did not EXTREMELY enjoy Friday when I had to call off after waking Noah up to get ready for Daycare and found him with a rash all over his body (not the part I enjoyed...I'm gettin to it!). I sent Eden to daycare so I could handle him easier at the drs office. After having to take both of them on Tuesday (can you image a NOT so smallish woman trying to wrangle a 2 year old and a 6 month old into a drs office by herself...It was not a pretty picture, or fun!) we found out he had strep throat. He had been on the antibiotics for 3 full days and had strep symptoms for 4 full days so I really didn't know if it was from the strep or the antibiotics...I should have seeings how I'm a nurse but with my kids, I'm just a worried mom and all my nurse knowledge goes out the window. After confirming it wasn't a reaction and just a rash from the strep we went to walmart where he REALLY behaved himself. We had fun walking up and down the isles and I pointed things out and asked him if he could say them...which as any true toddler would...REFUSED. After walmart we came home and he AND I took a 2 hour nap. Then we went outside and played until daddy got home. I enjoyed only having 1 kid for a day. I remembered back to how easy it was. When we just had noah though, I keep thinking it was hard...then I had another one. Don't get me wrong, I love my precious girl, but it was nice to have a mommy Noah day and just get to enjoy having him. I'm sure in about 6-12 months it will be much easier with her...as long as we don't have another one! LOL

Well... that was a long winded version of Not me/my child Monday...

TAG you're it!

Thankful Thursday...

So, I'm stealing...no BORROWING this idea from a friend of a friend. If I knew her or her blog I would credit her but I don't. The idea is you make a list of everything that you're thankful for from the last week and she is actually numbering them and trying to get to 1,000! So, here we go again...

31. I'm thankful I finally found the motivation to really get stuff done around the house.

32. I'm thankful I finally found a good balance of playing with the kids, getting things done and relaxing.

33. I'm thankful for Eden's laugh. She's been laughing a lot lately and its so cute. Sometimes she'll laugh but she's not smiling! LOL

34. I'm thankful for finally starting my job, and not quiting when they gave me a 1000 page policy and procedure book to read the first day.

35. I'm thankful for David's first day of fall rush going well. His store made A LOT of money. Unfortunately, they don't have the stats from last year because it was a different company. The better he does the bigger his bonus will be! :)

36. I'm thankful my kids have been on a more normal schedule getting up at 9 instead of 11! This time its seeming to stick.

37. I'm thankful that the kids have been doing o.k. at daycare. Eden's been doing great and Noah had a great first day, but a whiney second day. I pray that tomorrow will go better for him.

Your turn!

Wordless Wednesday...

M.I.A...

Sorry! I know I've been MIA lately. A lot of things are going on in The Bowman household. My husband is a school bookstore manager so August is a REALLY crazy month. Also, I just got a job as a home health nurse and started on Monday. With both of us working the kids had to start daycare. Let me tell you...that was a hard day...and still is hard. Friday we did a trial run. David only works until 12 on most fridays (except for "rush" which starts tomorrow and ends in the beginning of September) so I went to work with him, helped him drop them off and get them settled and then hung out in the computer lab and went to Old Navy before picking him back up and going to lunch, a movie and more shopping! Let me tell you, it was so hard dropping them off, but we also had a lot of fun just the two of us. I had lobster and steak and then we went to watch G-force. I really didn't want to watch a kids movie on our first kid-free day in over 6 months...but it was the only one in our time slot that wasn't full of sex. We really try to see clean movies and use christiananswers.net to preview the movies before we see them. It actually was pretty good and cute. Then we went to Walmart (I'm so boring now...walmart excites me) and shopped just for ourselves. I'm sure I'm like a lot of parents when I say, "I don't spend money on myself." I really don't. Every time I put something in the cart for me, it comes back out because I'd rather spend that on the kids. PLUS, we haven't had an income that pays all the bills since January. David and I were both working in January in Houston when he lost his job. I then had to switch from working 1-2 days a week to 3 12 hour shifts just to get by. We were getting by with his severance and my job, but I stopped working in the middle of february because a precious little girl was on her way and I was just miserable. Then his severance ran out at the end of february so we didn't have income for about 2 months. Then after working April and May we moved here to Virginia on Memorial day weekend. So, long story short (holy rabbit trail!!) I haven't felt comfortable spending any money on myself. David and I both got some stuff we really needed and got something for a friend that she really needed and still made it out of there fairly reasonably. SO...lots has been going on. My orientation day was last monday and my first day in the office was this past monday. I now work friday and saturday this week and then its just going to be 2 days a week (friday and saturday) from here on out. The kids will go to daycare on fridays, and daddy will watch them saturdays. We may switch it up a bit in September and work Mondays and Saturdays so David and I can have some time together on fridays. We'll see. Hopefully I won't fall off the face of the earth again...SORRY!

Thankful Thursday...

So, I'm stealing...no BORROWING this idea from a friend of a friend. If I knew her or her blog I would credit her but I don't. The idea is you make a list of everything that you're thankful for from the last week and she is actually numbering them and trying to get to 1,000! So, here we go again...

22. I'm thankful that little Stellan did NOT have to fly to Boston again to have another heart ablation and that they were able to adjust his meds and he is now HOME in NSR!

23. I'm thankful for my adorable children (I know, I know, a weekly theme but come ON!) I look at both of them in AMAZEMENT every day. Eden is seriously the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

24. I'm thankful for getting to wake up every morning to my babies! Eden rolls over and just starts jabbering most of the time. I walk in and just say "Eeeedeeen" and she gets a HUGE smile on her face and starts contorting trying to find me. Noah, jumps up to his feet when he hears the door open and gets a cute little grin and throws down his blankets and pacifier (I know, I'm working on getting rid of it, but its just during nap and sleep!) and starts jumping up and down. THE. CUTEST. EVER.

25. I'm thankful for friends who are so solid in their faith. Mon, my friend from Toledo, is an amazing christian woman. Her and her family are going through a tough time right now with the stupid economy and she still is so positive and uplifting!

26. I'm thankful that I'll be getting a check on August 21st!!

27. I'm thankful we found a daycare for the kids and its nice and clean, and cheap! Their first day will be friday. Davids working from 8-12 and I'm going to just go with him to drop them off (the daycare is in wytheville, where he works, which is 30 min away from the house!) and then bum around until he's done. Then we're going to lunch and a movie. It will be our first time with no kids in 6-7 months!

28. I'm thankful I got a shower tonight. Still wondering when it will stop feeling like a luxury! I actually got to SHAVE too! *ooohhhooo*

29. I'm thankful for the amazing Dad that David is!

30. I'm thankful that I get to hear Noah talk every day. It is TOO cute. The way he says "BYYYEEE" and "ouside!" are PRICELESS!