Well, its been forever!

We had a wonderful Christmas in Ohio. It was awesome to see everyone. We got to see my brother, sister-in-law and two children for the first time in 2 years, and my Step-sister and her two girls for the first time in 2 years. It was so cute to see all the kids play.

New Years was uneventful here at home. We stayed home, put the kids to bed, ordered pizza and then went to bed before the ball dropped. Its not that exciting for us anymore. It would be great to be able to get together with somone, but that would mean we would have to have a babysitter and noone besides us ever puts the kids to bed so it would be a mess.

Work is going MUCH better. I love the staff there and our clients. I've gotten more efficent at everything. I'm still hoping a part time position will open up soon so that I can take that but for now, we're making it and I'm content where I am. I'm very fortunate to work where I do and with the people I work with. I'm still a little frustrated about working off the clock, but the manager is aware and she said that was one of the downsides of working flex. We've been quite busy lately though so I've been getting plenty of visits.

David's busy period is right now at work. He's working 7am-7:30pm every day during rush. I've been letting the kids stay up a little late so that they can at least see him. His store is doing quite well though and is already over their projected sales...and the fiscal year ends March 31st!

Hope you all have been doing well and had a good holidays!

Changing seasons...

There are many changing seasons in life. It's undeniable and inevitable... Sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometime its just a change. We've had so many changes in our lives in the last three years and right now...I just want peace. I want to stay where we're at, in the same jobs, with the same routine...

No, I'm not pregnant! LOL But I've been getting more and more tired from all of it. I LOVE my children and husband and I'm very blessed in my life, I won't deny it. I just wish life would slow down so I could catch my breath for 5 seconds.

Noah's doing well, but in the terrible twos and is starting to unlatch his diapers at night and wakes up soaking wet. Laundry and baths are not the first thing I want to think of in the morning!

Eden is GORGEOUS as ever and is crawling and putting EVERYTHING in her mouth. The 3 day old puffs that she found on the dining room floor must have been tasty this morning.

David's jobs going well but is stressful for him. He never feels like he catches up. He's doing very well for being in his first year, we're just hoping his bonus shows that!

I'm...tired. I've been going to bed early but still wake up wishing the kids would just sleep for 30 more minutes. I'm working three days a week as a home health nurse. I do like the work, and just got off orientation, but its already wearing on me. I'm working "flex-time" so they pay me per visit...and its NOT enough. Most of the other nurses get paid milage (I do as well) AND get paid hourly as their driving (I do NOT). I drove 150 miles on saturday. I had two routine visits, a discharge, an admission and a resumption of care. After working a couple of days, I'm realizing that the amt they pay me for a visit along with all the driving around and time spent at home finishing my doumentation ISN'T enough. I might as well be working at McDonald's...

"Hello, would you like fries with that?"

I spent about an hour saturday night and an hour sunday night finishing all my documentation for friday and saturday. I don't like that I'm spending all that time away from my family and I'm not getting paid for it. The season may be changing soon though... we will see.

Pregnancy and Infant loss Remembrance day...

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I can't say I can relate to them. I can lend sympathy but not empathy because I've very fortunate that I've never lost a child. Something about being a mom though, draws me to blogs of other moms that have lost their children. I'm a nurse and a mom so I always want to make everyone feel better. If I could take away their pain and struggles, I would in a heartbeat.



What you may not know though, is that I have a condition that increases your chance for miscarriage. I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS for short. It's an endocrine disorder that can lead to a huge array of symptoms such as: adult acne, weight gain, trouble losing weight, insulin resistance leading to diabetes later in life, high testosterone, fertility troubles, facial hair....and it goes on and on. I am a member of an AMAZING group of women online called pcoscommunity.com. I sought this community after getting my initial confirmation of diagnosis (they had suspected it since middle school and DID NOTHING ABOUT IT!)in August of 2007. These women have been put through the ringer, but are still amazingly positive and supportive women. I have met a few of them IRL, but most of them I've just had long conversations online with...but yet I consider some of them very good friends! MANY of them have went through a loss. To me, a loss is a loss. It doesn't matter if you JUST confirmed the pregnancy or if you were close to full term. I can't imagine the pain they have gone through, and yet they are still such happy and awesome women. So, today, I'm thinking of EVERYONE that has lost a child, but specifically reaching out to those whom I know that has lost a child. *huggs*



Here are some of the blogs I read of women who have lost a child:



Be Strong and Courageous: One of the first blogs I had ever read. Joshua was born with his brain in a sac on the outside of his skull and lived an amazing time on this earth before going to be with Jesus. Susie is an incredible christian woman and encouragement!



Bring the Rain: Audrey was born with Trisomy 18 and only lived a couple of hours in her mommas arms before going to be held by Jesus. Angie is a witty, fun, hip girl with an amazing heart for God and bringing others to him.



Elijah Nathaniel Douglas: Was also born with his brain on the outside of his skull and only lived a few minutes with his mom and dad before going to heaven. Please send additional prayers for Steve and Marie, they have been going through a tough time financially and are still grieving over their beautiful baby boy!



The Life of Jacob Ryan Fahmer : Jacob was amazing little boy born with Trisomy 18. He lived for an amazing 4 1/2 months and has inspired thousands of people!



Waiting for Happy: This sweet momma has lost two sons to unknown causes (they are now considering EB to be the culprit) and just had a beautiful daughter who also has EB, but it seems a lesser form. She's real and inspiring!



The williams family blog: Patrice and Matt lost a little son shortly after birth to EB as well. Baby Jonah is Eden's age and is doing well despite his severe EB. She's a target lovin momma who is an inspiration to me. If she can stay positive, so can I!



There are probably a million more blogs, but these women I hold near and dear to my heart!

Not me monday again!

Today is another "Not me Monday" with a "Not my child Monday" bonus. After all, when you've got young kids, its hard to NOT have a "Not my child Monday"!
We just got back to Virginia last night after 13 days in Ohio. It was awesome to see all our friends, I just wish we could have seen everyone more!

Here we go:

While driving the 300+ miles back we did NOT stop at a gas station and feed Eden in her chair just so we could get home quicker!

Last monday in Ohio, I did NOT go into my sons room and wonder what that was on his light box, upon further inspection I did NOT find poo all over his pack and play and clothes and then discover that he had stuck his hand down his diaper. (THERE WAS a thorough bath and scrubbing after this!)

Friday night, after David got back into town I discovered that I had forgotten to switch on Noah's monitor. David and I tiptoed into his room to find that he DID NOT take off his pants AND diaper and had been laying there like that for a couple of hours. His bedding pajamas and all were NOT soaked. After having a heck of a week being a single parent, I most certainly saw the humor in it all.

After losing 9 pounds last month, and two whole weeks of moms home cookin, I did NOT gain 1.8lbs back in the last two weeks. I SWEAR I only ate salads and fruit! :P

After all the traveling I must say that being home has seemed odd for the past day! It will be nice to get back into the swing of things. Noah's Godparents and our good friends Bruce and Denise are staying for a few nights on their way back from Myrtle Beach so now I'm in a rush to get the house cleaned up. I also work weds and friday! AHHHH!!

ETA: I did NOT just hear a velcro noise when I was finishing up this post and look over to see Noah's pants off and him starting to take his diaper off! *sigh* Its gonna be a LONG week at this rate!

Random thoughts...again.

My head is spinning today with a lot of random thoughts. I think this is normal for most moms...or I'm trying to make myself feel better.

Sept 11th: Yeah, I know, its been a week but I'm a bad blogger friend and haven't blogged lately. I watched something that was just raw video on A&E. I believe it was called something like "Hotel 9-11". OH. MY. GOD. It brought that day back and then some. They showed a video where a guy was standing VERY close when the second plane hit. They showed video of the people jumping. They showed some of the firefighters walking to the WTC and realized that every one of them died that day. *tear* I couldn't help but just sit on the couch and cry. I can't imagine losing my husband or children or anyone like that. I DIDN'T lose anyone that day, but I still feel as a nation we lost a lot of our innocence that day. My heart still breaks for all those people.

Kids: The kids are good. Noah's getting his two year molars and screams like a banshee anytime I try to brush his teeth. He's also in the terrible twos. So far I think they've been fairly mild but the jury's still out on that one. I'm having a Early Intervention meeting tomorrow to have him evaluated for speech. I just don't think he's where he should be for his age. I may just be a crazy mom but I want him evaled either way. Eden's getting her bottom two teeth and has been for awhile now. I was hoping that they would pop through before our trip to Ohio but I'm thinking they're still a ways off. I really hope our trip isn't fully of whiny baby!

Trip: We're leaving Sept 28th for OHIO!! The first week we'll be visiting my parents and David's mom and all our friends. The second week David will be in Chicago and I'll be staying at my moms house just for the extra help. I can not wait to see everyone and get away for a little while. David's moms house is very cluttered so we opted to stay at a hotel for a few days and she's upset with us. We're staying for the most part with my mom and will maybe venture down to my dads if I think the kids will cooperate. I've come to the realization that everyone is going to have to just chill out and understand that we've got two VERY small children that get into everything and are already going to be out of their element. I'd rather not be moving around the two whole weeks we're there.

I've puttered out...maybe more later.

Thankful Thursday...

Its another Thankful Thursday and I've been slacking! I'm back today though...

38. I'm thankful for the cool spell we've had and not having to run the A/C much. This time last year we were in Houston and it was still REALLY warm. Our electric bill averaged about $300.00 a month down there. I'm thankful its been averaging around $180 here!

39. I'm thankful I got to spend time in the wound care center yesterday. I got to see some really bad wounds and it will help me better serve the people I see when I go out into the community. I'm thankful FOR the wound center for those people. Some of the before and after pictures are AMAZING!

40. I'm thankful for my BEAUTIFUL children. I know I've used this before but I'm thankful EVERY day for them. They're healthy and happy and so much fun.

41. I'm thankful for finding the church we found.

42. I'm thankful the church was able to find a building and that this sunday will be the last week we're meeting in the high school.

43. I'm thankful that David was able to switch BACK his trip to chicago so I could stay in Ohio with my family while he's gone. The extra help and company is going to be awesome. I can't wait to see all my friends and family while we're there for 2 WEEKS! :)

44. I'm thankful that I THINK I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think we'll be getting caught up on bills within the next month or two.

45. I'm thankful that I've started back on WeightWatchers and I've gotten back into the grove of it. This time next year I will be at LEAST 50lbs lighter.

46. I'm thankful that my Uncle Tom will be in Ohio when I am so I can see him. He lives in California and I only get to see him every few years. The last time I saw him was at my uncles funeral in the beginning of 2008.

47. I'm thankful for the house we're renting. It's PLENTY of space and it has a playroom for the kids. They each have their own rooms and they're both pretty big. We've come a long way from where we lived in Northwood. We then lived in a 800 square foot house and when we had Noah it was pretty cramped. We're now living in 2,000 square feet. OVER DOUBLE! It's a bear to clean sometimes but I love that we have room!

Your turn!

The friend that got away...

Am I the only one that has dealt with this? Am I strange to be dwelling on it 3 years later?

It's not the boyfriend that got away....I'm completely cool with all of them because it's GOOD they got away (or I did, rather!). But this friend...

We met about 4 years ago. She was funny, outgoing, inclusive and VERY welcoming. She worked with David at the church and she was really my first solid christian friend in Toledo. She was a good influence and we had a blast. We met and started hanging out and just had that connection like we were friends since we were little. I loved her like a sister...seriously. She quickly became my best friend and I was loving that I had someone that I connected to so fully. She was an amazing christian and an amazing wife and she was a great example of a good christian wife. Up to the end we were hanging out several times a week and were kinda inseperable...then the "incident" happened. I'm not going into it because theres no reason to...but she apologized and it was decided that we have some time apart. We did and then a few months later she called and we decided that we would work on rebuilding the friendship again. I fully forgave her and was happy to have her back in my life. Then a couple weeks later she emailed me to tell me that she couldn't do it...she couldn't be a part of my life and we couldn't talk anymore. She was worried about how people would "percieve" our friendship. I was incredibly hurt but I couldn't beg her to be my friend...how lame would that be.

Still to this day it causes me a lot of hurt. Recently we "brushed" shoulders (figuratively) again and for some reason it just brought all that back to me and smacked me in the face. I don't know if I ever ment as much to her as she did to me. I don't know if she still thinks about me and wonders what's going on in my life. I don't know...I just don't think I ever really got closure. And I don't know if I'm crazy for feeling like this.

I guess as a woman it's different because we're very emotional about things. Back when it all happened David was sad for me but told me to "move on" but I just can't. It's kind of like that family member that has stepped out of your life a couple times and just keeps coming back. I'll always hold out hope that we'll gain back our friendship and start fresh.

I also feel so out of control with the whole situation. In the grand scheme of things I was the one that was "wronged" in the whole situation and I had nothing to do with what happened and I feel like I've been the one thats been punished.

I've made a lot of different friends since then. Most have "stuck" and I now have friends all over the U.S. Some I have lost touch with, some I've had "fallings out" with. None of those bother me today...but I still miss my "sister".

(Do I sound like a nut-job now? LOL)

Not me/my child monday...

This is a little shin-dig MckMama over at my charming kids started. Embarrassed that you ate all the chocolate in the house...in just a couple hours? Furious that your child found the markers and did an art project on your brand new rug, but don't want to admit it? Your in luck! Just play along with all of us and tell us what you or your children did NOT do this week!

Noah turned 2 this week! With daddy being gone all week busy with fall rush at the college, let me tell you, it was not all I had hoped his birthday to be.

Noah did NOT get 3 time outs on his birthday and did NOT set a record for time outs in a day. He also didn't get two of those time outs by hitting me in the face with a toy. My child is an angel!
We did NOT stop opening presents early because he was a whiney ball of mess. I did not take him straight to bed! I'm a better mom than that!

I did not then get FURIOUS with David, after I had put BOTH kids to bed by myself, when I came downstairs and found him watching TV. After asking him to help me clean up the kitchen, dinner, toys etc. and him replying, "I put the wrapping paper in the garbage" I did not almost literally blow STEAM out my ears and then proceed to have an argument with him in my head. I'm much of a more understanding and giving wife than that.

(This ones from a couple weeks ago, but TOO good to pass up!)
Noah did NOT pee on my living room floor...several times. Curious? Let me explain! Noah watches a VeggieTale every morning and every night. Sometimes its the only time I can get away to get some stuff done! So, he was watching his nightly VT and David sat down next to him on the floor. He then pointed out a couple of wet spots on the carpet (Let me remind you that in our 3 bedroom house we only have 2 carpeted rooms!). I remarked that they were probably from his sippy cup but then said that he didn't have his water out there and it was probably from his milk so we should wipe it up. Several minutes later after the VT was over, David picked him up to take him upstairs to change him into his pajamas. When he picked him up he said "The bottom of his shirt and his shorts are SOAKED!" I knew it hadn't been that long since I changed him so I knew it wasn't his diaper. I told him it must have been his sippy (again) and he took him upstairs. He started laughing hysterically and called me up there. I walked upstairs and into Noahs room and all I see is him laying on his changing table, with his diaper on, but pulled down under his...package? LOL. I started confusedly (that's a word right?) laughing. David said it was like that when he took off his shirt. The kid had PUSHED his diaper down to...FREE himself and then continued to watch his show and URINATE ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM CARPET! Just goes to show he is NOT ready to potty train...he could lay in his own filth all day and not care! KIDS!! (I would have photographic evidence of this but David wouldn't let me take a picture...I need to get some blackmail photos for when he's a teenager!)

I LOVE both of my children and wouldn't give either of them up for ANYTHING. Therefore, I did not EXTREMELY enjoy Friday when I had to call off after waking Noah up to get ready for Daycare and found him with a rash all over his body (not the part I enjoyed...I'm gettin to it!). I sent Eden to daycare so I could handle him easier at the drs office. After having to take both of them on Tuesday (can you image a NOT so smallish woman trying to wrangle a 2 year old and a 6 month old into a drs office by herself...It was not a pretty picture, or fun!) we found out he had strep throat. He had been on the antibiotics for 3 full days and had strep symptoms for 4 full days so I really didn't know if it was from the strep or the antibiotics...I should have seeings how I'm a nurse but with my kids, I'm just a worried mom and all my nurse knowledge goes out the window. After confirming it wasn't a reaction and just a rash from the strep we went to walmart where he REALLY behaved himself. We had fun walking up and down the isles and I pointed things out and asked him if he could say them...which as any true toddler would...REFUSED. After walmart we came home and he AND I took a 2 hour nap. Then we went outside and played until daddy got home. I enjoyed only having 1 kid for a day. I remembered back to how easy it was. When we just had noah though, I keep thinking it was hard...then I had another one. Don't get me wrong, I love my precious girl, but it was nice to have a mommy Noah day and just get to enjoy having him. I'm sure in about 6-12 months it will be much easier with her...as long as we don't have another one! LOL

Well... that was a long winded version of Not me/my child Monday...

TAG you're it!

Thankful Thursday...

So, I'm stealing...no BORROWING this idea from a friend of a friend. If I knew her or her blog I would credit her but I don't. The idea is you make a list of everything that you're thankful for from the last week and she is actually numbering them and trying to get to 1,000! So, here we go again...

31. I'm thankful I finally found the motivation to really get stuff done around the house.

32. I'm thankful I finally found a good balance of playing with the kids, getting things done and relaxing.

33. I'm thankful for Eden's laugh. She's been laughing a lot lately and its so cute. Sometimes she'll laugh but she's not smiling! LOL

34. I'm thankful for finally starting my job, and not quiting when they gave me a 1000 page policy and procedure book to read the first day.

35. I'm thankful for David's first day of fall rush going well. His store made A LOT of money. Unfortunately, they don't have the stats from last year because it was a different company. The better he does the bigger his bonus will be! :)

36. I'm thankful my kids have been on a more normal schedule getting up at 9 instead of 11! This time its seeming to stick.

37. I'm thankful that the kids have been doing o.k. at daycare. Eden's been doing great and Noah had a great first day, but a whiney second day. I pray that tomorrow will go better for him.

Your turn!

Wordless Wednesday...