Not me monday again!

Today is another "Not me Monday" with a "Not my child Monday" bonus. After all, when you've got young kids, its hard to NOT have a "Not my child Monday"!
We just got back to Virginia last night after 13 days in Ohio. It was awesome to see all our friends, I just wish we could have seen everyone more!

Here we go:

While driving the 300+ miles back we did NOT stop at a gas station and feed Eden in her chair just so we could get home quicker!

Last monday in Ohio, I did NOT go into my sons room and wonder what that was on his light box, upon further inspection I did NOT find poo all over his pack and play and clothes and then discover that he had stuck his hand down his diaper. (THERE WAS a thorough bath and scrubbing after this!)

Friday night, after David got back into town I discovered that I had forgotten to switch on Noah's monitor. David and I tiptoed into his room to find that he DID NOT take off his pants AND diaper and had been laying there like that for a couple of hours. His bedding pajamas and all were NOT soaked. After having a heck of a week being a single parent, I most certainly saw the humor in it all.

After losing 9 pounds last month, and two whole weeks of moms home cookin, I did NOT gain 1.8lbs back in the last two weeks. I SWEAR I only ate salads and fruit! :P

After all the traveling I must say that being home has seemed odd for the past day! It will be nice to get back into the swing of things. Noah's Godparents and our good friends Bruce and Denise are staying for a few nights on their way back from Myrtle Beach so now I'm in a rush to get the house cleaned up. I also work weds and friday! AHHHH!!

ETA: I did NOT just hear a velcro noise when I was finishing up this post and look over to see Noah's pants off and him starting to take his diaper off! *sigh* Its gonna be a LONG week at this rate!

Not me/my child monday...

This is a little shin-dig MckMama over at my charming kids started. Embarrassed that you ate all the chocolate in the house...in just a couple hours? Furious that your child found the markers and did an art project on your brand new rug, but don't want to admit it? Your in luck! Just play along with all of us and tell us what you or your children did NOT do this week!

Noah turned 2 this week! With daddy being gone all week busy with fall rush at the college, let me tell you, it was not all I had hoped his birthday to be.

Noah did NOT get 3 time outs on his birthday and did NOT set a record for time outs in a day. He also didn't get two of those time outs by hitting me in the face with a toy. My child is an angel!
We did NOT stop opening presents early because he was a whiney ball of mess. I did not take him straight to bed! I'm a better mom than that!

I did not then get FURIOUS with David, after I had put BOTH kids to bed by myself, when I came downstairs and found him watching TV. After asking him to help me clean up the kitchen, dinner, toys etc. and him replying, "I put the wrapping paper in the garbage" I did not almost literally blow STEAM out my ears and then proceed to have an argument with him in my head. I'm much of a more understanding and giving wife than that.

(This ones from a couple weeks ago, but TOO good to pass up!)
Noah did NOT pee on my living room floor...several times. Curious? Let me explain! Noah watches a VeggieTale every morning and every night. Sometimes its the only time I can get away to get some stuff done! So, he was watching his nightly VT and David sat down next to him on the floor. He then pointed out a couple of wet spots on the carpet (Let me remind you that in our 3 bedroom house we only have 2 carpeted rooms!). I remarked that they were probably from his sippy cup but then said that he didn't have his water out there and it was probably from his milk so we should wipe it up. Several minutes later after the VT was over, David picked him up to take him upstairs to change him into his pajamas. When he picked him up he said "The bottom of his shirt and his shorts are SOAKED!" I knew it hadn't been that long since I changed him so I knew it wasn't his diaper. I told him it must have been his sippy (again) and he took him upstairs. He started laughing hysterically and called me up there. I walked upstairs and into Noahs room and all I see is him laying on his changing table, with his diaper on, but pulled down under his...package? LOL. I started confusedly (that's a word right?) laughing. David said it was like that when he took off his shirt. The kid had PUSHED his diaper down to...FREE himself and then continued to watch his show and URINATE ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM CARPET! Just goes to show he is NOT ready to potty train...he could lay in his own filth all day and not care! KIDS!! (I would have photographic evidence of this but David wouldn't let me take a picture...I need to get some blackmail photos for when he's a teenager!)

I LOVE both of my children and wouldn't give either of them up for ANYTHING. Therefore, I did not EXTREMELY enjoy Friday when I had to call off after waking Noah up to get ready for Daycare and found him with a rash all over his body (not the part I enjoyed...I'm gettin to it!). I sent Eden to daycare so I could handle him easier at the drs office. After having to take both of them on Tuesday (can you image a NOT so smallish woman trying to wrangle a 2 year old and a 6 month old into a drs office by herself...It was not a pretty picture, or fun!) we found out he had strep throat. He had been on the antibiotics for 3 full days and had strep symptoms for 4 full days so I really didn't know if it was from the strep or the antibiotics...I should have seeings how I'm a nurse but with my kids, I'm just a worried mom and all my nurse knowledge goes out the window. After confirming it wasn't a reaction and just a rash from the strep we went to walmart where he REALLY behaved himself. We had fun walking up and down the isles and I pointed things out and asked him if he could say them...which as any true toddler would...REFUSED. After walmart we came home and he AND I took a 2 hour nap. Then we went outside and played until daddy got home. I enjoyed only having 1 kid for a day. I remembered back to how easy it was. When we just had noah though, I keep thinking it was hard...then I had another one. Don't get me wrong, I love my precious girl, but it was nice to have a mommy Noah day and just get to enjoy having him. I'm sure in about 6-12 months it will be much easier with her...as long as we don't have another one! LOL

Well... that was a long winded version of Not me/my child Monday...

TAG you're it!

Not my child monday....

So this is a little thing that McMama over at mycharmingkids.com does on mondays. Normally it's a Not Me Monday, but this week we have a twist. It's a Not my child monday, where we can simply confess the things our children did NOT do. *I'm mixing in the not me's as well this week since I've never done one, and its fun!*

-While eating this week Noah did NOT decide that everything on his tray should be smashed to bits and then some of it thrown on the floor, not my child, he's much more clean than that, and respectful.

-After being a very good boy this week, Noah did not get M&M's and did NOT then proceed to melt them in his hands and then spread them over his tray face and hands, not my child!

-Since David was gone this week, I most DEFINATELY did not stay in my pajamas most of the week, and only throw on a hoodie when I went outside or to the mailbox, not me! I'm much more organized and put together than that.

-After FINALLY getting my kids on a better schedule, they certainly did NOT end up waking up at 11:30 by the end of the week, despite going to bed around 9pm each night, not my children, I'm a much better parent than that.

-On thursday night I did NOT put Noah to bed at 9pm, doubting he would actually sleep, but just needing a little time out myself. I've got much more patience than that!

-I did NOT eat mostly carbs and junk this week while david was gone, when I did decide to eat once or twice a day. I eat three completely nutritionally balanced meals a day! I also did NOT eat all the chocolate in the house, that would be bad!

-Noah does NOT eat mostly carbs and some fruit. He ALWAYS eats vegetables, since I've been trying to get him to take them for the past YEAR.

O.k....Your turn! Link it in my comments or over at McMamma's site so we can all see what you or your children did NOT do this week! :)